Relationship Financial Foundations
A guided worksheet for couples exploring money with clarity, care, and intention
This worksheet is designed to support open, honest conversations about money—one of the most emotionally charged and impactful areas of a relationship. Move through it slowly. You do not need to have all the answers at once. This is a living document meant to evolve as your relationship and circumstances change.
1. Big Picture & Intentions
(Start here. Always.)
- What do we want money to feel like in our relationship?
- What does “fair” mean to each of us (not just “equal”)?
- What do we hope a shared financial agreement or understanding will protect or support?
- What fears, worries, or sensitivities do we carry around combining lives financially?
- What does financial safety look like to each of us?
- What does financial freedom look like to each of us?
2. Individual Financial Snapshots
(No shame. Just truth.)
Each partner reflects individually before sharing.
- What assets do I currently have?
(Examples: savings, retirement accounts, property, businesses) - What debts do I currently have?
- Are there ongoing financial obligations I expect to continue?
(Examples: children, family support, education, business expenses) - What is my current income range, and how stable does it feel?
- What financial messages or experiences—supportive or painful—did I learn growing up?
3. Boundaries: What Stays Individual
- What do I want to remain mine financially?
- What feels important to protect, regardless of relationship outcomes?
- How do we feel about future inheritances, gifts, or windfalls?
- How do we want to treat income streams, assets, or businesses created before living together?
- Are there areas where clear separation would help prevent resentment or confusion later?
4. Shared Life & Monthly Living
(The day-to-day realities.)
- What expenses do we consider shared?
- Housing
- Utilities
- Groceries
- Household items
- Travel
- Entertainment
- What feels like a fair way to share these expenses?
- Equal split
- Percentage-based on income
- Hybrid approach
- Do we want a joint account for shared expenses?
- If yes, how much goes in monthly—and how is it managed?
- What types of spending require a conversation beforehand?
5. Housing & Home Contributions
- How do we define each person’s financial contribution to our living situation?
- Rent
- Cost-sharing
- Contribution without equity
- What does this contribution represent emotionally as well as practically?
- If home improvements or renovations occur:
- Who pays?
- How are shared contributions documented?
- If we were to separate, what would happen financially regarding housing?
- What would make this arrangement feel respectful and fair to both of us?
6. Savings, Growth & the Future
- Do we want shared savings goals?
- Emergency fund
- Travel
- Home projects
- Long-term investments
- How do we balance saving for the future with enjoying life now?
- What upcoming transitions should we plan for?
- Career changes
- Health shifts
- Family or caregiving needs
- How often do we want to revisit and adjust our financial plan?
7. Support, Imbalance & Life Changes
(Because life is unpredictable.)
- How do we want to handle periods when one partner earns less or not at all?
- How do we define support in a way that avoids power imbalance?
- What does generosity look like to each of us?
- What helps prevent resentment from building over time?
- How do we ask for help when money feels stressful or overwhelming?
8. Conflict, Repair & Communication
(The heart of the agreement.)
- How do we want to approach disagreements about money?
- What helps each of us feel safe during difficult conversations?
- What are our early signs that financial stress is impacting our relationship?
- How do we repair when something feels unfair or misaligned?
- Who can we turn to for support if we feel stuck?
(Examples: therapist, financial advisor, mediator)
9. The Agreement Itself
- What do we want our financial agreement or understanding to reflect about us?
- How formal or informal do we want it to be?
- What would make us feel proud of how we navigated these conversations?
- When should we revisit or revise this agreement?
- What topics still need more exploration or support?
Closing Reflection
(Do not skip—this matters.)
Each partner completes the following:
- One thing I appreciate about how we’re approaching money together:
- One thing I’m grateful for financially in our relationship:
- One hope I have for our shared future:
